Of the people, For the people, BY the people.. Really?

A week after 26/11, I was sitting at the office cafeteria, having coffee with a few colleagues. The topic of conversation was around the Mumbai killings: the failure of Intelligence & Security, corrupt politicians, useless government...and so on. Pretty much all we had been watching on all TV News Channels and reading in the dailies.

Just as the conversation was getting heated and one of our colleagues indulged in name-calling of political leaders, an expat working in our office, an American, stopped by to say hi. "Some serious talk goin on in here?" she asked. She pulled a chair and sat down while we explained that India needs better political leaders, and the ones in power today weren't deserving. She listened and then asked "So why did you guys vote for them?"

None of us had expected that! We all looked at each other. Straightforward, simple question. For which we had no answer. Rather, we were too ashamed to admit, that "We didn't!". We didn't vote for them. Infact we didn't vote for anybody, and we had never voted in our lives!

Turned out that of the 6 elite souls seated at the table, none of us had voted in the last elections. Only one person at the table actually had a Voter's ID and she had last voted in 1999. I am sure the statistics would be just as shocking if you expanded it to our city and the entire country.

We don't need a foreigner to remind us of our Fundamental rights and duties, do we? We may not be able to join politics ourselves and bring about the reforms that are needed. "It's too late to do that". "I am just settling with my job and life, I cannot make a U turn at this point". "The system is corrupt and very old, what difference will I make?" "Can I really be that selfless? " There are a thousand excuses, questions and doubts.

But the least we can do is to cast out vote and pick the right leader!

Bangaloreans -

Visit http://www.ceokarnataka.kar.nic.in/ to find out how you can enroll yourself as a voter. The site will direct you to http://bangalorevoterid.org/ for all your Voter ID related questions including schedules for issuance.

All it takes is 2 hours of your time to get the Voter's ID. And another 2 hours on election day.

Please vote! I surely will.

100 things to do in 100 feet road

Yesterday evening, my new neighbour came home asking "Is there any place where you can eat, shop, and you know, generally hang out? I'm not really a mall person.."
I promptly suggested "Indira nagar 100 feet road!"

The poor lady made the mistake of asking: "100 feet road,huh? What can you do there?"

"What can you do at 100 feet road? What a question!!" I cleared my throat "Indira nagar 100 feet road happens to be one of the most happening areas of Bangalore, dear! You could..
Have coffee at Beanstalk, Café coffee Day or Barista..
Pick up a telephone connection at Hutch or Airtel..
Eat at Tangerine, Dominos, Kund, Cakewalk, Hot wok, KFC, Annachi, Pizza Corner, Take 5, The Village, Nandhini,100 feet Boutique, The Beach, Roomali with a view, Crossover, Little Italy, Takatak, Barbeque nation…(and more and more coming up everyday)
Buy furniture at Metro, Feugo..
Order a whole kitchen at Veneta Cucine, Kimera, Kitchenworld
Buy art at Indu, Studio 5, Manora, Natesans
(Window)shop jewellery at Trendsmith, srishti
Buy clothes & accessories at Jealous , Reebok, Adidas, Pepe, Bossini, Bandhej, Arrow, Indigo Nation, Levis,Lee, Wrangler, Dockers, Sanskruti silks, Jaipur Bandhni..
Book a car at Trident Hyundai or Maruti.
Book a two wheeler at Bajaj
Pick up home furnishings at Maspar, Zarah
Lose weight ;) at VLCC
Open an account with UTI, Bank of Baroda
Get home electronics from Pai, VGP or Viveks
Get groceries from Food world, Fabmall, Subhiksha, S.H Department Store, Pickles & Spices, Fresh & fresh......"

That’s when I heard the THUD! Turning around, I realized she had fainted ! So I took her to GG Hospital.....you guessed right, on 100 feet road.

By the way, happy independence day to y'all !

Stay away from Cane Boutique

Of all the human qualities that piss me off - Dishonesty tops the list. And arrogance probably comes a close second.

I recently witnessed a bumper crop of both these qualities in one Ms. Ritu Todi, the owner of Cane Boutique, a cane furniture shop in Bangalore. (Now don’t get carried away. These days, just anyone can call themselves a "Boutique" and charge exorbitant prices for products worse than what you might find in a flea market!)

The behaviour of the owner ranges from excessively courteous on the first day (or till you make the payment, which by the way, is as depriving as amputating your right arm) to rude and disrespectful when you approach them later on with a complaint or a request for service. Reason? They have made their money by selling you their rotten stuff once and they don’t care whether you go back to them or not. And why not? Bangalore is filled with numerous filthy-rich people who'd be lured at the sight of a "boutique" store selling cane furniture and are willing to pay anything. So forget repeat sales, loyal customers or customer satisfaction, these stores are just happy stuffing their wallets. They lie through their nose about the "guarantee" that comes with their furniture and the quality of their products. Post-sale service / support? You should be happy if the woman treats you with basic respect.

Let me tell you Todi, it is just a matter of time before you learn your lesson. Maybe one of your Sad Buddhas will teach you. Good Luck!

Oh by the way, the Buddhas in cane boutique are very sad. You see, they have been brought all the way from Thailand (this might be a lie too!), and are just lying down in depressing corners looking at the traffic outside. They look so tacky that there seem to be no takers. Maybe we should set up a rescue team to save them from Monster R and send them back home?

Not knowing even simpel enlgees?

Noticed this few days back at the new Big Bazaar outlet on Old Madras Road. There's a gigantic hoarding on the building wall facing the side road. It has a picture of a family looking overjoyed, after a "unique shopping experience" at Big Bazaar. The hoarding reads:
"Complete Satisfaction. What you what, is what we have"

So smart, no? They know what we what !!

I can forgive an astrologer on a roadside platform whose hand painted placard advices you to "Be Heppy, Dont waary. Com hear to Anguri baba, for tottal peas of mind"
But Big Bazaar of Pantaloon Retail, shame on you!

Haan, mere baap ka road hai!

Enigma's Seven Golden Laws of Driving in Bangalore:

The Paradoxical Timer Law: If the timer at the signal says 132 but the light glows green, let that not confuse you. Nothing is wrong. The timer has nothing, repeat, Nothing to do with the signal change. They have installed it for people who cannot count backwards.

The Squeeze Law: If the gap between the sand lorry and the call center van ahead of you = (width of your car) + 4.2 millimetres, go right ahead and squeeze your car between the two vehicles. Grin widely at your achievement, this has saved you approximately 8 microseconds in reaching your desination.
Note: If your rear view mirrors are not already broken, they will break today, but what the heck, we don't use them anyway.

The Signal Law: If the light is red, look around everywhere. If there is no cop in sight, zip through. If the light is orange, you did not see it..zip! If the light is green...oh, how boring!

Law of Preemptive Screaming: Say you overtake another vehicle from the left and realize you might have incurred the wrath of the other driver, lower your windows and scream abuses at the poor soul before he gets a chance to do so.

Beat the Boredom: Stuck in a traffic jam? Never mind - take it in your stride. Cos you can get shopping done while seated in your car!! You can buy earbuds, laundry bags (in flourescent colours..yaay!), plastic moustaches, earbuds, mobile phone covers, washcloths, earbuds, sunglasses,dusters,earbuds... Hey that's almost my entire shopping list for the week!

Find your space Law: If there is slow moving traffic on your side of the road, feel free to use the other side. If there is a barricade (which moron came up with the idea of barricades?) , use the pavement. If it becomes necessary, use the Preemptive Screaming Law on the pedestrians.

Flyover construction Area Law: WHAT?! Don't even think about it...avoid it like the plague!

And get this bumper sticker done in 7 languages: "Yes, it is my father's road!"